Forgiveness, Love, and a Heart Restored
“Wherefore, if anyone is weary, if any is in prison, if anyone is in captivity, if anyone is in the wilderness, let him come to the blessed Jesus, who is as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land. Delay not, arise and come away.” Jonathan Edwards
Have you ever wondered how hard it must have been for Jesus to walk to the cross, get beaten so badly that blood poured from every part of His body? He was stripped down to nothing on the outside and had little left on the inside except the powerful thoughts He carefully formed into life-giving words He spoke near the end: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” ~~ Luke 23:34.
Such powerful words Jesus petitioned to His Father – pleading even as He was in the throes of death on our behalf.
Are You Willing to Search and See?
I was one that Jesus specifically prayed for. I cried out, “Help me!” And most likely you have, too. I cried from the very core of my being in my deepest, darkness day. “God, help me, for I do not know what I am doing!” At that moment I was desperate for answers, desperate for a hope greater than myself! Desperate for healing, hope, and a love that only He can give.
I want to share a piece of my journey from a road that was anything but straight to a superior path that led me from a life full of shame and guilt to one of forgiveness, love and hope!
The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15-21-22: “For since by a man came death, by a man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.”
My Experience…
It was a cold Saturday in December, 1991. I specifically remember my mom and dad both were up early and cooking in the kitchen. The smell of grits and bacon filled the air. Outside it was cold and gray, yet the holiday decorations that covered the house brought joy and excitement. Christmas was only a couple weeks away! I met my parents in the kitchen and hurriedly spilled a made-up story, that I was headed to the mountains and excited to spend the day with my boyfriend. But deception and manipulation, hiding and isolation, and an overarching fear reigned in my thoughts and desires. Does this sound familiar? Have you ever made up a story because you were afraid to tell the truth?
So, off we went that day. However, I was not going to the mountains, but to a dark, dingy place where hope is not welcome. Not many people were out on the streets early that morning as we drove all of five minutes to an old brown building on the corner. I specifically recall what I was wearing that day: a big sweatshirt with “North Carolina” written across it, a pair of old jeans, and tennis shoes. As we walked into the building, I felt very lonely and apprehensive. The building was cold, and I felt as though no life was near. I approached the window and the sliding glass door slid open. The voice on the other side said, “Sit down, we will be right with you.”
We sat down specifically at the end of the aisle and waited. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I got up and walked straight through the gates of hell. Only a few dark hours before, I had made the decision to end the life of the unexpected baby growing inside me. I was only seventeen. I saw no light, no hope…only this short term “fix”. In exchange I received years of torment, suffering, and a feeling of immense loss. I made a choice to follow the ways of the world, worshiping at the altar of convenience and conformity. This decision left me with a great sorrow and sadness that lasted for many years. I felt rejection, isolation, and shame…terrible guilt and unexplained anger remained. The enemy had me trapped, and there seemed to be no way out.
But Then …
On October 7, 2003, 12 years later, and just one week after the first wedding anniversary with my husband, I gave birth to our first son! The very next day at 7:30 am, the Lord flooded me with His forgiveness, love and grace. You see, “The blessing of The Lord makes rich, and he adds no sorrow to it.” ~~ Proverbs 10:22.
Though I had been untrustworthy, unfaithful, undeserving, immature, and foolish, Jesus in His kindness led me to repentance, to reconciliation to Him to the point where I could finally receive His great love for me! Yes, in my complete brokenness and shame He picked me up and called me HIS!
Can You Relate? Has Sin Crippled Your Being? …
Sin keeps us alienated, separated, and isolated from Him and His marvelous love. Are you willing to sit with the Lord and confess your greatest sin? Have you kept it from the Lord and attempted to deal with it on your own? The passage of time cannot heal the wound. Look to Jesus. Receive His forgiveness. Can you believe that God has already forgiven you? Can you forgive yourself and others?
A New Relationship …
Once we become reconciled to Him a new relationship is birthed, and we become a new creation. (Paul explains this in 2 Corinthians 5:17-21, below).
Gregory Jones writes in his book Embodying Forgiveness, “People are mistaken if they think of Christian forgiveness primarily as absolution from guilt; the purpose of forgiveness is the restoration of communion, the reconciliation of brokenness.”
Are You Ready? …
Will you consider? The greatest love story is the cross and how He paid for our sins through His shed blood. Now we can become reconciled and given a new life - one that offers HOPE! “Anyone who is among the living has hope.” (Ecclesiastes 9:4) John Piper writes, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”
Let’s Pray Together …
Father, help us to see and then to take action concerning the sin we have committed. We give it to You. Wash us clean. Establish us in Your Kingdom of Righteousness. Help us to see Your truth. Give us courage to recognize that sin keeps us from Your presence. Lord, we want to be reconciled and restored to You. Let our hearts be convicted of that which does not belong. Help us Father to repent from what we have done, cry out for mercy, and be transformed by Your love and saving power. Father, forgiveness is what You offer in exchange for the enemy’s lies. Help us to receive Your free gift, then help us to forgive ourselves and others. In the powerful Name of Jesus! Amen!
Meditate Upon These Scriptures …
“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold new things have come. Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation, namely that God was in Christ reconciling the word to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him” ~~ 2 Corinthians 5:17-21 (NASB).
“I write to you, dear children, because your sins have been forgiven on account of His Name” ~~ 1 John 2:12.
“Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not impute against him and in whose spirit is no deceit” ~~ Psalms 32:1-2.
-Elizabeth Bowman