Out of control?

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the

Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”

2 Corinthians 3:17 (ESV)

“Are we really willing to live out of control?”

This question was proposed to me last week at work in a group setting. When I heard it, my body immediately tensed up, and my mind began to race. Fear suddenly took over, and I thought, “NO WAY, I cannot do this!  I’m in control!”  After a few moments, my body and mind settled down, however; I was challenged ALL week long by this.

I began to ponder the above question further, I quickly became aware that my performance-oriented mindset is rooted in shame and fear, which sprouts a longing for control.  Performance allows us to “look good” and “feel good” about ourselves. Genesis 3 tells us that when Adam and Eve sinned, they, ran, hid and covered themselves with fig leaves.  As I began to study this chapter further, I learned that fig leaves are painful when we place them on our bodies!  Yet, Adam and Eve covered themselves with fig leaves despite how painful it must have felt.   Sin and shame entered into the human condition, fear was birthed, and the human quest for control had begun.

“Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that

they were naked.  And they sewed fig leaves together

and made themselves loincloths.”

Genesis 3:7 (ESV)

Question…Am I truly able to surrender control and let go of all thoughts, feelings and expectations, trusting and believing in HIM?  Knowing that where the spirit is, there is true authentic freedom?  Free to be exactly who HE created me to be?  Pressing into my discomfort of where I want to run, hide, and cover myself?

The performance mentality leads me to do “whatever I can” that takes away shame and guilt, deceiving me that I am in control.  A performance mindset causes me to believe that I need to work harder, so that I may hide and cover myself with “good things” like serving others, being that “perfect” mother, wife and friend.  Or, serving at the church and school.  Or, perhaps secretly or non-secretly, drinking, shopping, exercising, eating, or doing whatever may seem to keep me from living “out of control” and fully surrendered to Jesus!

Jesus challenges me daily to lean into my discomfort that makes me want to run, hide and cover myself with “whatever” illusion of control I may find for myself.  I must instead make the choice every day to press into HIM as the source of my VALUE, ACCEPTANCE, LOVE and SECURITY.  When I live “out of control”, as scary as it may seem to be, HE proves over and over that he is faithful!  Jesus brings me into a deeper awareness that I am a sinner saved, and desperately in need of HIM, because I am weak, human…and most of all, BROKEN!  Only Jesus can lift me up and out of myself!

Prayer for this day,

Father, help us to live fully “out of control”, leaning only on you for strength, wisdom and guidance.  Father, I know that when we make the choice to run to You, instead of running away, you show us who you TRULY are and you overwhelm us with your nature:  KIND, Compassionate, Loving, Gentle and Faithful.

Jesus, help us to press into our shame and guilt, to be vulnerable and real with what is in our hearts, so that You can heal and restore us, thus allowing us to LIVE FREE AND FULL!

In Your precious name, Amen!

Your scripture truth for today:

“And we will, unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

2 Corinthians 3:18 (ESV)

-Elizabeth Bowman