Whom are we serving? Ourselves or God?

“Our Lord’s primary obedience was to the will of His Father, not to the needs of people, the saving of people was the natural outcome of His obedience to the Father. If I am devoted solely to the cause of humanity, I will soon be exhausted and come to the point where my love will waver and stumble. But if I love Jesus Christ personally and passionately, I can serve humanity, even though people may treat me like a "doormat".... Yet it is like a grain of wheat that "falls onto the ground and dies". It will spring up and change the entire landscape.” (John 12:24)

-Chambers, Oswald. My Utmost for His Highest. Discovery House Publishers, 1992, (from: June 19th).

This morning as the sun was rising and the house was quiet, birds chirping and I picked up Oswald Chambers devotional and read the devotion for June 19th. The above paragraph jumped off the page at me, and I abruptly stopped reading to write down the entire paragraph. I thought to myself, “Do I completely and wholeheartedly serve God? Or do my eyes sometimes fall on myself, and in my flesh I want to “serve myself”?

As a counselor who primary works with women in recovery from substance abuse and addiction, this paragraph spoke to my soul this morning. So often in my flesh I want to fix, heal, and set free the women I work to serve. I desire to see each woman I encounter become instantly healed and made whole. As you might imagine, it doesn’t quite work that way!

With repeated failure comes discouragement and shame, if the love of the Father isn’t fully received in your heart.  When I face failure, my mind can become flooded with thoughts like: “I’m not good enough”; and “If only I had done it differently…”  The lies that the enemy plays over and over in my head can lead to doubt so powerful that it causes me to want to run and hide; But God is all powerful and victorious over all foes! Jesus reminds us of His power and grace throughout the bible, and our daily experiences. Here’s just one unexpected example, from the book of Luke: 13 “You give them something to eat.” They answered, “We have only five loaves of bread and two fish—unless we go and buy food for all this crowd.” 14 (About five thousand men were there.) But he said to his disciples, “Have them sit down in groups of about fifty each.” 15 The disciples did so, and everyone sat down. 16 Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke them. Then he gave them to the disciples to distribute to the people. 17 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basket fulls of broken pieces that were left over.  Luke 9 13-17 NIV

The little boy who brought the fish and bread came because the Lord asked him, not because he thought he would feed all these people. In fact, he came because of his love for and longing to see Jesus…not to serve humanity, BUT to serve God. Had this little boy held tight to his basket, not trusting in the Lord, look what he would have missed out on…one of the greatest miracles in the bible!

Instead he was willing, obedient, and believed.

The story of the feeding of the 5000 spoke to me this morning, and I said to myself, “I am NOT Jesus. I can NOT heal, redeem or restore lives. I am merely a little girl bringing a basket with five fish and two loaves of bread wherever I go, in hopes that my offering of love and passion for Jesus will turn into a miracle that will “save” many. Not because of me…BUT because of HE who sent me!

"The two most powerful warriors are patience and time". - Leo Tolstoy.

Are you willing to be patient in the process? Trusting and believing in His promises holding fast to his Word that quenches your deepest thirst and springs up new awareness and life in your being. Can you believe in his timing for healing and restoration?

Pray with me today: Father, help me to get out of your way, help me to experience You in a new way in my life. Father, I need your guidance, wisdom, and most of all your understanding. Lead and order my steps, so that I can seek first Your kingdom. In Jesus name, Amen!

Scripture: “But seek his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33 NIV

- Elizabeth Bowman